Day 656

Saturday | December 14th, 2013

X

An Existentialist Saturday. Lots of thunking to be going on. The crux of it I guess is what kind of person do I want to be. The last few years that answer has been simple. Now it’s not. Maybe I’ll be a father soon and the kind of “so what, fuck you” approach isn’t one that’s going to be good for my kid.

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It’d be easy to say that this approach isn’t good for Meow, but she’s unaffected by my interpersonal relationships as she’s quite picky about who she bothers to be friends with anyways. Two picky people, one with a set of rules to keep everything cordial and smooth and the other without a set of rules because cordial and smooth don’t matter.

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But suddenly these things do matter. Our child will need friends and allies and not just cordial and smooth. Our child needs normal and positive social interactions with the children of people I haven’t been cordial and smooth toward because it didn’t matter. But I’m an adult, this is my fucking life—I fought for and earned the right to live it how I see fit. My child though … he or she (probably he) gets to make that choice as an adult too. Growing up though, the best examples should be demonstrated in repeated fashion. Daddy has to be nice again.

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I can do nice. I can flip that switch back to its factory setting. Nice doesn’t get the mileage like asshole does because of how humans are. Nice, though, is another kind of disarming social cancer which allows people to lay all sorts of expectations on you … because you’re nice. I hate expectations.

The Daily Bullet

iPhone 5 / iOS 7 filters; I rikey.

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Daily Report

I didn’t sleep last night. I struggled to write or create a script that would grab an .mp3 from a folder, open it, insert markers in pre-determined places, split the audio file into eleven segments based on those

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Gyeongju

Out beyond the fake lake (Bomun) for Christmas Day lunch at a place called the Healing Kitchen. It’s all farms and hilltops here. And roads to more farms and hilltops. Except for the noise from the cars, I

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The Fourth Wall

I’m here and alive. Ten days behind the reality of my written life, yet here and alive. TOEIC is the predominant motif of life from the end of the semester until … today. This is the end, after

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This Old Hanok

When we had the bathroom done, we wanted to design our own window for the part of the wall which straddles the storage space along the side of the house. This way we could have clean airflow through

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