Day 371

Monday | March 4th, 2013


Funny, just the other day I had nothing to do and didn’t even know what day it was. Now it’s the first day of school and I’ve been anchored in a chair strapped to a keyboard trying to bang out files just to feel ready.

I tried to tell myself that I had important things to do—things that couldn’t be slept though—and therefore going to bed and getting a decent block of sleep was really important. But … the brain … the brain no listen. I climbed into bed around 03.30 but didn’t resign to sleep until I couldn’t get Letterpress to suck up ‘Trannyburst’ as a word. I got up around 09.00 and shave off the staycation beard and get to work early to print. There’s robbery somewhere in this mini tale of woe.

The stress/nervous level was higher than last year when I started working at the PDF. I don’t understand why that is only that it was that way today and it all clustered and knotted up my back to where it hurt to twist and do dishes after work. I did every back stretch I know to pop and crack the machinery. I even pulled out the yoga mat to roll. Then I took a short nap, arose looking and feeling refreshed for the first time in days, and dashed out to meet the crew (PP, BL, BM, LG) for some honey makgeolli. A well deserved pot or four of fermented rice and bee vomit.

We toasted first to finishing the first day, then to only having another 119 to go until it was vacation again. In that moment, I could see, as I usually don’t see, but am trying to learn to see, how utterly and ridiculously easy my job really is. In a lot of ways it’s the anti-CEC. Four years of the PDF might actually make me a normal, non-angry person again. Like a refined version of 2007 me.

We were joined by others, invaders who’ve been thrust into our little enclave of what I can only describe as extreme perversionalism. Once the head has wrapped itself around that word, a sharper idea of what it must be like to suddenly find out that your territory will have three new houses in it come March 4 with three other people and the only burning question was, “Do I have to act like everyone else now?”

We are a day in and I think 1 of the 3 might be alright, or at the very least this person took an odd moment to prove themselves insane in our way twice. Once in the office when the topic of conversation stagnated ever so slightly into the briefest of pauses and this newbie whipped out a toy car and introduced it to PP and I. And once after the bowls of honey-bee-after-party made the rounds to all the lips at the table, I was told I looked a bit like Tim Finn who I’d never heard of and as if to somehow press this moment of stranger-celebrity likeness or desperation that I, too, make the same connection, a lyric of a Tim Finn song was sung to me. In a sense it was just bizarre, then I remember how fucking sheltered I’ve become (because of working all the time as 1st mate of the CEC) and that this is a part of what it means to be in Korea: oddness. And then I can see that it’s a lot like 2007 again, the good ol’ odd days of free time, short work, new people, and merriment.

I got home early and not drunk and tried to do some work, but all the stress of not really sleeping and compressions of nervousness caught me fast. I barely had the energy to make it to the bed and I went down before midnight.

The Daily Bullet


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