Day 179

Friday | August 24th, 2012

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Rules, rules, rules. We have rules to prevent disasters. We have rules so we can break them. We have rules about breaking rules and rules about keeping the rules in check. I hate rules … but some rules keep me out of trouble. Some rules keep me on task. Some rules make me famous; some rules just make me infamous.

Rules about alcohol keep me from wasting time. I hate wasting time. I used to be able to sleep whole days away, deep in hangover mode with zero regret. Now sleeping a day away like this seems like a crime. So the Rules of Alcohol Consumption were created.

  1. Rule 1: you must eat meat before drinking, the fattier the better. Pig meat is best. [BROKEN, foods consumed: Scooby snacks, dried pineapple, tofu, kimchi, pancake, and a cheeseburger after 03.00]
  2. Rule 2: drink lots of water; a liter before the meat phase is the sweet spot. BROKEN, I had about half that before drinking and eating tofu]
  3. Rule 3: drink water while drinking. [BROKEN, contrary to 40% belief, ice in your Jameson does not count towards water consumption]
  4. Rule 4: no Jagermeister. No exceptions. This is liquor from Satan’s balls. [BROKEN, KL bought Jager shots and that was the slippery slope where I said, “Whatever!”]
  5. Rule 5: be weary of shots; one or two okay, three dangerous. [BROKEN, jager shot, jagerbomb (which violates Rule 4), carbomb … and done]

There are probably more rules and dispensations for things like Tequila, soju, and poktanju (beer and soju mixed), but these are the five that occupied my Wall Street for all of Friday as I laid in bed with an unhappy head and grumpier stomach.

Many times I thought I was about to rise then failed. Around 16.00 I got myself to the tub (you know I like a good bath). This was the beginning of my day! Nope. Fell back asleep in the tub.

It could be said that I’ve another rule about not eating after a lot of drinking. That might be a great Rule 5 (bumping the afore mentioned Rule 5 to the Rule 6 slot). Eating after a lot of drinking is the fast lane to vomiting. I tried to purge the evil cheeseburger several times, but all the swill in my stomach clung to it like Ghostbuster slime.

I made plans with POD at least twice and did a few other things that I’ll wrestle with but nothing could drive me to get up until the burger was consumed and I needed either water or food. All day I dreamed of the noodle lady (hero image, top) and her bowl of homemade yum. I imagined myself pulling up, donning clothing, sauntering over, ordering, and finally languishing in a bowl of hot, spicy, gummy, noodles.

I couldn’t drag myself there until 20.30 on Friday night. When I finally did … it was heaven. When I was done eating all I wanted to do was crawl back into bed and sleep. I forced myself to do a tour of the old hood. I walked a giant loop in soft rain that crossed every house I lived in in Hyehwa (7 years and three flats). I saw a lot of things had changed and thought about a lot of old stuff, good and bad.

Back at the motel with a big bottle of water and some expanding food, I missed Gyeongju. Around 23.00, I went out again to fetch Meow. She came down Friday after work. The dogs were going to have a house sitter for the two nights we would both be gone.

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